im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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