So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
