If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its liver damage thursday
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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