Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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