the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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