Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Small penises have feelings too.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
