Too much gin, very little bucket
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize