Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
