wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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