oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize