Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We need to get me chipped asap
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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