I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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