accomplished twins. life is a go
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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