We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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