if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
