Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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