I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
