I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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