I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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