its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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