In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
