There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your cock deserves a montage
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
