he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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