i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
