margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
