Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
