hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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