It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
