operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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