FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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