So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
