Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
