it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
