You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
