atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize