Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize