Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
