if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
