I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
