apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize