I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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