could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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