I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
