out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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