R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
