Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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