Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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