His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize