Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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