But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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