Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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