we're blogging at a bar
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
