smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
