We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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