where am i from again
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize