guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
