Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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