I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
