at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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