i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
