butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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