You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
