I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
