I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
