Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
