Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
this hospital has no fireball
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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