he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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