I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
