Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
