I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
