Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
