omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
